While the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) and National Statistics Office (NSO) are keeping up with the times and upgrading their technology, the National Bureau of Investigation (NBI) have taken me and the rest of Philippine society back to the days when computers and internet were obsolete.

I went to the NBI satellite office in Taytay at 9am last week, only to be told by one of the staff, “bumalik ho kayo ng lunes ng madaling araw kasi mahaba ho ang pila”. Umm, duh, what time would that be? 5 am or 4 am? Just last year, I got my NBI clearance from the same office without any hassles (So you’re asking why I’m getting another one. I kind of lost it, but that’s another story). Anyway, so I ask around and find out that there’s a daily “quota”. I don’t know the number, but to get a form you would have to fall in line as early as 4am, or pay the guy at the front desk. My Aunt paid 200, one of my friends paid 150, another paid 115 JUST SO THEY CAN GET A NUMBER AND FORM!!! Which is FREE by the way.

My sweet grandfather volunteered to fall in line early me, and come Monday he sent me a message to come at 8 am. He paid the guy at the front desk to get a number and a form, but I didn’t ask how much. So I filled out the form and got fingerprinted. Fell in line when I was called and paid 115 to the cashier. Got my picture taken and was asked to come back at 1pm to get the clearance. My brother went back only to find out that I had a namesake and I would need to come back on March 29th to get the clearance.

There was really nothing hard about getting the NBI clearance IF you paid the front desk. But if you didn’t, you would have to wait in line for hours and you get scolded by the “staff” for being makulit when you ask questions about the whole procedure. I saw a couple of men who were totally pissed off because it was all a huge mess.

The place was small, compared to the number of people who were getting their clearances. There were at least 60 people in line; some of the ones who came late were asked to come back another day; and there were only around 5 to 7 people in the office that I could see. The Taytay satellite office serves a lot of municipalities in Rizal, and you can just imagine how many people get their clearances everyday. The procedures indicated in the windows are not followed, which caused a lot of confusion amongst the applicants.

I understand why the NBI office staffs are doing this – BUSINESS IS BOOMING! Take advantage of the people who need the clearance for their livelihoods while the same pay for their salaries. It’s just not right, but apparently it’s big business.

If there are a lot of people applying for a new NBI clearance, they could at least create a structure that’s similar to DFA’s appointment system. Provide appointment dates for people who call in or fill out forms via their website with a promise that the clearances will be released on a certain date; or sent to their homes via a courier.

I can just imagine how they investigate crimes. If they do, at all!

I am not underestimating the Filipino’s ability to understand, I am merely stating that they don’t have the ability to see through their own lives. They can’t put themselves in our other’s shoes because they have been indoctrinated so much. I understand that Catholics are protecting their own, and protecting their “laws”; which unfortunately doesn’t apply to everyone around them. They are forcing their beliefs, without thinking of the consequences it will have on other people.

A good example would be the so called ban on condoms in Ayala Alabang village in Muntinlupa city which has left a lot of Facebook friends aghast. Prescriptions for condoms? Have we gone back to the cavemen years? What’s next; banning kids from accessing Google, Wikipedia and Facebook and penalizing parents with jail time?

I have never heard of any illnesses resulting from condom use. Have you? Do condoms cause abortion? I don’t think so but I would love to see someone prove to the rest of the world that it does. What is an unborn child? Semen?

I have tried to understand this from a Catholic point of view, but my logic gets the better of me. I simply can’t get over the fact that not all residents can afford to go to a doctor go get prescriptions. The helpers of said village probably have Sundays as their days off, when government health centers are closed.

This is what I have come up as an Atheist. Catholics have always made it a point to say that kids are a blessing from god. So therefore, raising them is a sacred task given by god himself. Every child born into this world has the right to grow up in a nurturing and loving family, such as Jesus was given. Having children is a privilege, and therefore comes with a responsibility. And it starts even before they come along. You and your spouse will have to prepare yourselves for the coming of your children by being responsible parents who are able to provide for their daily needs.

Raising kids and parenthood should be part of the high school curriculum; just so these kids know what they will be getting themselves into. Better knowledge of what the future holds is a great way of promoting responsible parenthood to those who badly need it. It should be part of sex education, and male and female students should be schooled as equals.

If the parents don’t agree with my suggestion, then a license for child bearing should be given to only married women. Penalize single mothers with jail time. Extreme? Well, the ban on condoms is as ridiculous as it gets, but what did you expect from Catholics?

But the past couple of months have taught me that I don’t have to suffer along with the Filipino middle class. I don’t have to jump up and down every time Manny wins or applaud as loudly as everyone else when Charice performs on an international stage. I don’t need the distorted and superficial Pinoy Pride that people seem to think I should have simply because I am from this country.

I have never been a fan of Manny and Charice, just because I don’t like boxing and Charice isn’t singing my kind of music. This doesn’t make me less of a Filipino, because my choice in music or sports doesn’t define my nationality.

I don’t even like being called Pinoy because it’s a racial slur (Pin – from Philippines, Oy – from unggoy). It was coined by American during the early 1940s to describe how they saw and thought about us, as brown monkeys. Call me Filipino, sure, but I am first and foremost a citizen of the planet Earth, and I would rather be called a human being.

The color of my skin, the language I speak and the country I was born into was merely accidental. My emotions and opinions, whether or not, they are shared by my family and friends, define me not only as a Filipino but as a person. It is the anger I feel towards people who continuously take advantage of our country and destroy our natural resources. It’s the compassion I feel towards the young who will grow up as ignorant as their parents, living the life that they think was destined to be theirs. It is the numerous complaints you will hear me say about anything and everything that is wrong with our country and the “Pinoys” who live in dream worlds. It’s the pride I feel when I see everyday heroes in action and the happiness when much needed laws are passed. The tears I cry when children die because of their parents’ stupidity.

Excuse me if I no longer want to suffer with the rest of the Filipinos. Excuse me if I can no longer sympathize with the lower class. Excuse me for calling the “masa” spoiled brats. Excuse me for all the complaints and comments you have had to hear from me about policemen, politicians, businessmen and street beggars. It’s just my Filipino blood boiling as I helplessly watch my countrymen ruin the Philippines.

I asked her, will god give me money to pay for the bills? She didn’t reply. And I asked myself, what will praying to god do for me? I guess nothing, the same back in 2006 when I asked god to help me get through a tough time. He never responded, he remained silent as usual. I found the answers to my problems through someone else.

So when bad things happen, I should pass on the responsibility of making things better to god? I should pass on the blame to god? Why? To make ourselves feel better by telling ourselves that this is a part of a grand plan? I don’t think that a grand plan was provided by a supernatural being. I don’t believe that I should pass on the responsibilities and the blame to someone else.

When I do something right, I would like to be credited for it. I don’t want an invisible sky god to take credit for my achievements. At the same time, when I f**k things up for myself and my children, I would like to take the heat. I don’t want to blame someone else, visible or not, for my decisions and my choices.

So to you, I’m sorry but I don’t want to pray. What I want to do is make things happen for me and my kids. I will make my own grand plan and when I get through this, I’ll give myself a pat on the back and say “good job Jackie, you did it!”. I won’t be pointing accusing fingers to god, and I won’t be burning candles for him either.

This morning I was sitting in front of my computer looking at our bedroom door every few minutes hoping to see him there. I was half expecting a small voice calling out to me or a crying baby shouting “mommy mommy” from our room. No voices, no crying and no one to look at me with a pained expression. No arms to hug me tight and no tears to dry today, and probably for the next couple of weeks.

This pains me a lot because I promised myself that I would never ever let anyone take over my responsibility as my children’s mother. When my siblings and I were left to live with our grandparents, I promised myself that I would never do the same to my kids. No matter what happens, we would stay together, even if it meant that I would have to work a hundred times harder. Another broken promise to myself!

What makes this even more painful is that some people think I made the wrong decision. I don’t think I need to explain myself or explain my situation to anyone because it’s hard enough to deal with my problems that people still expect me to listen to their grievances when they only appear like superheroes.

Maybe if they live my life, they’ll appreciate me more.

***Superhero appearances – when someone thinks they need to do something really cool or good to make it seem like they are doing something when in fact they aren’t helping or providing solutions to the real problem.

This talk about bringing back the Death Penalty activated my spider senses. The problem here is that I don’t see DP as a long term solution, and it doesn’t address the root cause of crime which is poverty.

We’re humans, wired to adjust and adapt. If heinous crimes are punishable with death, we may only see a small decrease, but it doesn’t affect the overall crime rate in our country. We may see less drug dealers, kidnappers, murderers and rapists, but desperate people could easily switch to robbery, snatching or car napping. With DP we may even see an increase in petty crime; which cannot possibly be punishable with death or we’d be called one of the most barbaric nations in the world.

Tackle the root cause of the problem and hit more than a dozen birds with these 3 factors: 1. better quality education, 2. a strong economic policy and 3. a government with a backbone. The three go hand in hand. I or other people may want to add to these, but at 1am it’s all I can think of. I hope to form an opinion soon, but for now I leave it as is.

Here’s my two cents:

1. We need to hurry! A quarter of a century should be enough time to realize that the policy isn’t working for us, and for people to say that we need more time to analyze the situation is just plain crazy. Our country is in desperate need of change.
2. I don’t want cheaters coming in doing business with us. We need honest businessmen and investors! The 60/40 provision is teaching foreigners to break our laws and what’s worse is that we’re assisting them. We condone law breaking because the policy itself is an obstacle in economic growth.
3. If retail companies come in, there will be a surge of quality products coming into the market. There would be more goods to choose from; and the demand for low quality products might decline. There’s no guarantee that piracy will stop, or that replicas will no longer be peddled in the streets; but it gives YOU and ME a chance to buy authentic and high quality products for less than what they cost today.
4. The power to choose service providers. Meralco monopolizes power distribution in Manila, Smart & Globe for broadband internet and MWC for water. If huge companies come in with great business models, we won’t only see services improve we might even see lower prices on said services.
5. Small to medium businesses will flourish if more foreign companies are able to come in. The demand for food, clothing, travel and entertainment will increase. The little people will be given a chance to expand their businesses or even have the courage to put one up.
6. Our professionals won’t need to go to a foreign country to get a job and be away from their families. They’ll have more job opportunities here. There will be a demand for workers and the pay would be equal to their skills. I want to add that if we enforce the labor code as strictly as possible and make sure that these foreign businesses hire employees for long term (and not contractual basis like what retail giant SM is doing) the population would have proper health care and retirement benefits.
7. Our tourism industry will take a positive hit. These businessmen are going to come to our country not only to do business they’ll want to go sightseeing, too. And if they like what they see they’ll want to bring their families and friends for vacations. What we need is positive feedback from travellers who have been here and experienced what we have to offer.
8. More land will be developed. There’s a huge chunk of land that remains unused or misused in provincial areas. Money will come in to these smaller barrios and the local governments would have funds to build new roads and protect land from exploitation.
9. Poverty is the main reason why we have so many petty criminals. And if those who are in desperate need of money have opportunities to earn honestly, I believe that the crime rates will go down and we’ll feel safe in our homes again.

I don’t understand why my friends think that it’s a bad idea to junk this policy. If the policy isn’t helping the people, then it’s probably not a good idea to keep it. It might be working for a few, but the majority of the people are being strangled by this policy.

There’s no perfect system, but the least we can do is try out a few new ideas instead of waiting around doing nothing – and then expecting other people to give us handouts like we deserve special treatment. We’re already knee deep in crap, that the only way to go is up.

We have two SmartBro internet connections, I use the Plug It (canopy) and my brother uses the Share It account. Uploading takes a lot of the bandwidth and we really don’t want to lose any work because of network timeout. So it’s really a hassle to suddenly lose both connections right when I’m in the middle of speaking with a supplier or handling a customer concern. My brother has had to re-upload a lot of work due to this intermittent connection.

PLDT, Digitel, Smart and Globe are the primary providers in Manila. I don’t have PLDT and Digitel because frankly my money is better spent on the speeds that Smart and Globe provide. Between the two broadband giants, there’s really nothing that “wonderful” about their services. You just get the same shit from both companies who don’t really give a fook about their customers. It’s all about the money they rake in and the customer who falls for whichever false advertisement. Speeds up to 2mbps my ass!

The reason I’m really bothered by this is that a lot of people in my network work from home. We all need stable internet connection. Truth is, you don’t get paid if you don’t finish the job on time; and you can’t give foreigners the same lame ass excuses that Filipino employers will accept. If the deadline’s tonight, it’d better be in their inboxes before then or you get paid late. You can’t miss work if you’re a virtual assistant or customer support so you need a backup connection or you’re fired. If you don’t sell anything tonight, you’re doomed!

This is why I’m very passionate about the removal of the 60/40 provision in our constitution. It’s protecting the likes of Smart and Globe and not giving hardworking Filipinos like me a shot at the global marketplace. There’s a huge opportunity for home based Filipino workers, but the problem is we can’t compete. If this stupid economic policy is removed, better services will come in.

In most countries, 2mbps was the minimum speed you’d get for a regular internet account – I’m not sure what it is now. In the Philippines, that’s the maximum you’d get from standard accounts. You want more, you have to pay more; like more than triple the regular fee. My dad lives in California and he downloads a movie in less than 5 minutes. I download a movie for at least 2 hours at my speed of 1mpbs, and it only peaks at around 160kbps in the wee hours of the morning.

I spoke with a customer service rep from Smart and asked if there was any way for me to get a better connection; and she says that only corporations are given such accounts. If I could provide them with the necessary documents, they’d be “happy” to look into my application with no guarantee that it’ll be approved. What a load of BS!

If international telecom companies come in, we’d have more choices. We wouldn’t have to deal with the crap we get from morons who answer hotline numbers. I’m sorry but I can only file a report. The supervisor is handling another call but will coordinate with the support team about your concern. Please monitor your connection and if there’s no change within 24 hours, call us back. We wouldn’t need to go to wireless centers only to find out they can’t help us out (they won’t only inconvenience you, they talk down to you as if you’re an idiot!). Smart, Globe, Digitel and PLDT won’t only ensure that we’re provided better services, they’ll actually care more for their customers if there’s a competitor who’s not only willing to offer superior products but will also treat customers as kings.

The clowns who are against the idea of foreign companies owning 100% of their businesses had better rethink their positions on the matter. Although removing this 60/40 policy doesn’t guarantee that we’ll all be rich in 10 years, it’s better than not having options at all.

Who takes care of me? No one. And I think this is the saddest part about being a single mom.

You can’t tell your kids “wait lang ha, may sakit si mommy”. When the baby cries, he has to be carried and cuddled. The baby won’t take his medicine, so it has to be forced – and sometimes you end up with vomit all over the bed. You have to get up to make sure the older one doesn’t gag on his medicine, or to remind him to take it. You have to wake up every hour or so at night to check if they’re able to breathe properly. And you’re just as sick as they are.

I am glad that my brother and the helpers are around; but when the kids want mommy they just got to have mommy.

Motherhood is a 24/7 job, no days off, no holidays, no sick days and definitely no salary.

The problem is that more often than not arguments are ruled by emotion, and we think that when something isn’t done “our way” (which we frequently assume is the correct way) we have an obligation to set others straight. Another common behaviour that gives rise to problems is that instead of criticizing the IDEA, there are those who resort to ad hominem attacks. Without any usable arguments to defend your position, there’s really no point in starting a word war to prove someone wrong, or right.

As far as discussions go, the only losers are those who do not have an open mind. For as long as the opinion is supported by evidence, facts or real life experiences, even if it contradicts yours, you should challenge yourself to accepting some truths for what they truly are.